i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
