well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
