party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
