just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
