we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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