Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
