What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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