Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
