shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
