i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
