I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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