I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
