I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
