I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Let's paint friendship bongs
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
