a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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