You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
