6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
they're like a gay fantastic four
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
