a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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