Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
