Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
