so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
