hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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