He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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