That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Houston, we have a blender
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
