My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
