4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
