Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she looked like the before picture.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
