Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
