Apparently you make a good broom.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
