In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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