Your tits are I can't wait for
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
