you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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