3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm really into asian looking animals
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
