But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
