she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I am available for nakedness
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
