Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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