All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize