everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize