I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
