PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
