you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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