Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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