Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
