this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
