if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
