Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
ugly people sure do ruin things
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize