I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
