hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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