if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
