The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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