He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize