this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
