i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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