Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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