I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think I sprained my soul last night
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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