Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
