you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
