Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
