Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
