i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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