so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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