I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
