i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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