stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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