My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
