I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
