Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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